Praha – The Grand Finale

I got back to Maida Vale around 9pm on Friday and Marissa and I had to leave for Gatwick at 8:30am on Saturday morning. We had no problem getting to Praha. We found the hostel just fine. However, when we checked in, we were told there was no space for two people in a 5-bed room [that I booked two months in advance]. We could either split up into two separate 5-bed rooms or go together into a 32-bed room. We didn’t want to be split up so we chose the world’s largest dorm room. It was quite the sight. I didn’t have a chance to snap a photo, but it was just beds – beds EVERYWHERE… in my raccoon wounds… two bathrooms, lockers, and a door that never really closed or locked. The men's bathroom had group showers, which kinda creeped me out and kinda made Marissa laugh. The women's had private showers. Marissa and I were just stunned. We might be slightly… high maintenance travelers.

We reluctantly got settled and then went to dinner at a pizza restaurant across the street. Our hostel had an excellent location. It was outside the city centre – about a 20-minute walk – and therefore, everything around us was cheap! I had a 12” pizza for 100 crowns AND a pint of beer for 25 crowns. That converts to about $8.17 CAD. Yah, I think I love this town.

We hit up the hostel’s basement bar for ‘Happy Hour’. I asked the bartender what the drink specials were [since it was happy hour]. He told me there weren’t any. Weird. However, he said that you could buy two pints and get one free – and this offer was valid any time the bar was open. Weird. But I wasn’t going to complain. That meant that you could get THREE pints of beer for $3.66 CAD. Sold. Yah, I love this town. So we sat and chatted a bit and some people at the next table asked if we wanted to play cards – Presidents + Assholes. We agreed – took me back to the days around the lunch table at JP2. We met David, Sarah and Alex from Minnesota. I asked if they were from Mount Rose [a la Drop Dead Gorgeous]. They were not. But I was impressed they got the slightly obscure reference. They also said that the city is actually called Rose Mount and the movie fictionalized it a bit. I was slightly disappointed. After a few hands, a few pints, and a photoshoot in the men's toilet of our 32-person dorm room, the five of us set out to explore the nightlife.


We set out to a local bar that I had read about online. It was nearby, and supposedly friendly, Anglophone and a good source for information on the party scene. We got some info, met a couple creepers (including this one dude who scratched his ass for about 45 minutes) and then we left for another bar.

On the street, we met two young Czechs, Jacob and his friend [name unknown]. They were going to the same bar we were looking for but Jacob was being a Maria about helping us find it. He also accused me of thinking that I was better than him because I was a Canadian in Praha. It was pretty messed up. We had a heated discussion on the street about how it’s not about superiority, but about new and different experiences. He saw ‘different’ as a negative thing, like I was a Westerner looking to judge everything around me. He was kind of an idiot. But he did eventually lead us to the club. The club was ok. We mostly stayed near the bar and chatted.



Marissa and I got a late start the next day but we wandered around the city for hours.

More men climbing buildings - remember Manchester?

We finally made it to the city centre. I was a little nervous because Steve1 told me all these horrible things about Praha – it was dirty, dangerous, I’d get robbed by gypsies, etc. I’m not sure what happened to him when he visited, but this was not the case. You have to be smart about things, but I never felt threatened while I was there. We saw all the sights – Charles Bridge, Praha Castle, Gothic Cathedral and the high street.







These statues were peeing. Their pelvises rotated as they relieved themselves. It was... funny?

But the most interesting attraction was the Torture Museum. On three floors, it features narratives, illustrations and reconstructions pertaining to torture techniques in Europe during the 16th and 17th Centuries. It was GRUESOME. Those Europeans meant business. By the time I got to the third floor, I actually felt sick to my stomach. Naturally, we went to dinner after. We went to an upper scale restaurant in the centre. I got a traditional Czech meal – beef goulash with bread dumplings and a pint of beer. It cost less than $20. Delicious.


Metro art. It's pretty.

After dinner, we had to get back to the hostel to change rooms. We got in a 6-bed room [still not what I reserved] with four unfriendly German girls. At least these room was called 'Nice View'. It was beside the room called 'Best View'. We asked the girls in that room if their view was REALLY better than ours. They said yes... after all, their view was angled slightly toward the left.

'Nice View'.

Marissa takes a break in the room.

Then we went to ‘Happy Hour’ and to meet David, Sarah and Alex for more cards, pints and to formulate a game plan for the grand finale – last night in Praha!

Because I didn't want to be the only one with a 'traveller'...

We started in the Old Town Square to catch the Eurocup football match. There were huge project screens set up all around the square, hundreds of people and most importantly – cheap beer sold at a kiosk. We only caught the last 10 minutes of the game, but it worked out well because the crowd dispersed immediately after and we had the beer stand all to ourselves.

Look how happy we were about that!

The public toilet situation was problematic. They all seem to close at 9pm. So we picked a bar at random just to use the facilities. Then I talked David and Alex into joining me for an obligatory shot of absinthe. The bartender asked if we’d done it before and we confidently told him, ‘Of course’. He gave us the shots, sugar, a spoon and matches. We had no idea what to do.

So we learned that you put the sugar in the spoon, submerge it in the absinthe for a second, light the sugar in the spoon, let the flame burn out, dump, stir and shoot. Then the bartender told us if we were going to throw up, we had to do it outside. I laughed. He was serious. Nice guy.

Next, we set out to find a club called ‘Roxy’ that some girls at the hostel were talking about. We found it. It was closed. As if clubs in Praha close just because it’s Sunday! As we stood outside, pondering our next move, two Czech girls approached us – Anita and Bara – accompanied by a man. We chatted a bit and they discreetly told us [by the power of mobile phones] that the man with them was a creeper and wouldn’t leave them alone. So we just walked with them a bit and the man kind of fell back. He even told Alex ‘You and your party must leave now.’ Creeper.

Anita joins in.

Back to the beer stand!



Alex and I share a deep moment.

We had no real game plan, but we needed to find a toilet again. I knew of one nearby – beneath the Torture Museum – but it turned out to be closed as well. Right next door, there was a man trying to coax people into a club [also below the Torture Museum]. It was 80 crowns entry [$5 CAD] and included a free drink. At that point, we would have paid 1000 crowns!

The club was awesome. It wasn’t terrible busy but the music was awesome. It was all upbeat and housey. We walked into Rhianna’s ‘Please Don’t Stop The Music’ – how appropriate. The walls were all brick that continued into the arched ceiling. There was a stage for dancing, where Marissa and I spent most of the night.


After we got the boot [because the club closed, not because Ronnie was there], we went to the Charles Bridge. It’s MUCH nicer at 3am without all the annoying tourists – just the 7 of us. Anita showed us where to touch the bridge and make a wish. We all did.


Alex gets a little adventurous... we told him if he fell in, he was on his own. :)
After the obligatory street food, we said goodbye to Anita and Bara and walked back to the hostel in the daylight [how unwholesome]. At least we had a wicked night.



On our last day in Praha, I set my mobile alarm for 10am so we’d have one hour to get ready before the 11am checkout time. Marissa and I wanted to shower but our new room was in a suite of rooms with 1 shower for an estimated 14 people. Needless to say, it was very busy. Suddenly, I realised my mobile was still on London time, ie: it was actually 11:20am and we were late checking out. Oops. So we quickly packed up and ran downstairs. They didn’t seem to care.

We had breakfast with David, Sarah and Alex, but we were all pretty wrecked from the night before. They were preparing for a 22-hour train ride to Nice. Crazy. We exchanged contact info and said goodbye. For the whole day, we experienced on and off monsoons. We went to a local park, had lunch on a McDonald’s terrasse, shopped and checked out Frank Gehry’s building – meant to resemble two people dancing.


Around 6pm, we went back to the hostel to pick up our bags and left – exhausted. I left for Toronto the next afternoon. I was sad to leave so many great people, but happy to return to some sort of structure, routine, and so on [assuming Judy didn’t fire me, as predicted by Chris]. I need a holiday from my holiday. Asia in `09 Chris?